Day 4

The Departure

Returning from London freshly engaged, you might think that thoughts would turn to planning an engagement party and the wedding itself.

Alas no.

A few weeks after getting the ring, Ali left the country..

Mutterings of “this isn’t going to last” and “she’s running away” were understandable but somehow, we knew that we were doing the right thing. Ali had been offered a job as Chief of Procurement with the United Nations Mission in Kosovo (UNMIK) and found herself on a plane to Pristina leaving Bob in Edinburgh with our cats, Mulder and Scully. It was “just” a six-month contract, nothing to worry about. 

Anyone who has ever survived a long-distance relationship will understand. But this was before the days of facetime, unlimited internet access, Skype was new and the real test was whether or not the connection would drop on the satellite phone and the electricity in Kosovo would stay on long enough to have anything like a decent conversation. The days when you had to wait for the delay and echo on the line and not talk over each other.

But six months turned into a year. A year turned into four years and by way of Kosovo’s declaration of independence in 2008, a new raft of EU/UK jobs were created that facilitated Bob’s arrival in mission. Back in Edinburgh, Bob’s work in the Scottish Court Service and the Faculty of Advocates helped pave the road to a new role in Pristina alongside the international judges and prosecutors processing a backlog of trials handling war crimes, land disputes and human organ trafficking. It’s never easy to put into words what we both experienced overseas and somehow it seems easier to gloss over the horror with fonder memories of friends, food and flights. No, we didn’t do it for free, but the darker side of work in an international mission definitely comes at a cost.

On the upside, the following six years facilitated our international travels and food experiences that wouldn’t have happened had it not been for our spending time in a foreign land at the expense of time with friends and family back home. As a result of Kosovo’s diaspora, the airport in Pristina connected flights from an impressive range of international locations to aid connection of families that had been torn apart during the war.

International travel also meant international food and what followed formed the very foundations of our interest in hospitality. Working alongside colleagues from every nation in the world afforded us the unique opportunity to experience traditions, cultures and cuisine that opened our eyes to something that we may never otherwise have experienced. The narrow focus of mission life lends itself to the sharing of pride in your home nation (think a ten-year tour of the tartan army in Boston!!) and, thus, the hosting of dinner parties became second nature to brag about where you were from. American BBQs, French wine, Italian feasts and Danish drinking: we were spoiled for choice and took full advantage of this newfound social life that came with flaming bells and screeching whistles.

In return, Ali was quickly adopted as designated mother for mission strays and Bob became barman. This was where Ali’s millionaire’s shortbread was born (Daim Cake as the Danes called it) and also where we realised that Fernet Branca was quite literally the work of the devil thanks to a “pour off” between Bob and the Danes.

Food and drink became the overwhelming connection that surpassed language and cultural barriers to bring people from every corner of the world together for one evening at a time, allowing us to forget what we were either running away from or hoping to find.

It taught us that food and drink really does build bridges. When we did eventually return home to Scotland, we promised ourselves that we would do something for ourselves, something for others and something for those who might otherwise be forgotten.

This is Day Four in our series sharing 31 Food Memories for the 31 Days of August.

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